Note 66: Near Death Experience

Recently, I've come to value the simple joys in life--like writing this blog post, each breath and so many other things I tend to take for granted.

See, my near death experience started when my sister Never Again lost her library book. Let me state for the record that this is not the first time she has lost a book. And not only did she lose it but she had originally checked it out on my library card.

So, guess who will have to face down the stare of the evil librarian if the book is not found?

In some crazed hope of finding the book and thus avoiding the scary librarian, I went upstairs to look through her room. When I entered the room, she was surrounded by her dirty clothes, empty soda cans, old candy papers and more.

"What?" She demanded.

So I calmly asked the question any rational person would ask, "How can you live like this?"

She looked around the room then back at me. "It helps me think. I like to live with things a little messy."

At which point I made some snide remark about swine that I won't repeat. Never Again on the other hand wasn't above sharing that little morsel with my mom.

My mom gave me the icy parenting glare and said, "Could you just not?" Which is usually mom code for "I'm-about-to-lose-it-if-you-kids-don't-start-behaving".

It was about this time, I realized I'd need army to help me find the book. Thus, more siblings were drafted. Unfortunately, some siblings' ideas of helping involve reading "I Love You StinkyFace" in monotone while the other sibs laugh hysterically.

I searched and searched and searched and still couldn't find the book before I finally decided just to be thankful to escape with my life.

The good news is the evil librarian was having an off day or something because she totally renewed the book again, even though she's only supposed to do that once. Maybe she was tired of having to give me the evil stare.

In any event, I am thankful to be alive.